Matt's Birthday

I know - it's been two months since I've updated this blog but it's been a little busy and stressful around here! Still, I couldn't let Matt's 11th birthday go by unnoticed!!!

So as usual - with each birthday, I can't believe that he is another year older. This time 11. It's just that his birthday (May 9th) is on Mother's Day weekend every year and that is special to me because of everything I (and Cody) went through with him. It is truly a miracle that my boy, born 3 months early and weighing 2 lbs 10 oz, is even standing here today.

Now that he is in 5th grade, this will be the last year that I will bring cupcakes to his class for him to share. I have done it for both Jacqui and Matt from Kindergarten on up. The past few years the theme of his birthday cupcakes have been baseball. Here he is wearing passing out cupcakes to his class wearing the birthday shirt that Mrs Mirise got for her students to wear on their special day. She's such a great teacher!

Chocolate cupcakes, white frosting, red stitching...

On his actual birthday he had a baseball game. So again, I made him cupcakes to share with his team. Chocolate cupcakes, white frosting, red stitching...

They all sang happy birthday to him while his coach held him high above everyone!

After the game, Robbie spent the night and he opened his presents. Don't worry - he got more then sunflower seeds. I just figured I would get him some that he could hide before Ski got to them!

He's also decided that he's going to make it a tradition to go to Hooters for his birthday dinner. So Matt, our family and 20 of our closest friends took up half the restaurant.

King ended up at the kids table...he thought he could keep them under control. Can't you just see the authority in his face. They all look scared don't they!

Amber ended up at the other kid table...

Jacqui always loves when Matt is the center of attention. Can you tell?

Again the cake we took to Hooters was a chocolate cake, white frosting, red stitching. Can you sense a theme here. But that is what my boy wanted so that is what he got. I had a few issues with this particular red icing.

Of course I made sure to let them know that it was his birthday so they brought him up and sang Happy Birthday to him while he did this hula hoop.

Then he got to pose with the Hooters Girls. I'm sure your all shouting "Mother of the Year!"

Well Rachel shares this particular award with me because she threw her son at them to pose for a picture too. Miss Cadence had to get her big old head in there because no one can pose better then she can and she'll be the first one to tell you. That, and she let me know that one day she will be a Hooters Girl too. You can imagine the pride that I felt that day...

Happy Birthday Matt! I love you buddy!

Happy 10th Birthday Matt!

It seems like 10 minutes ago Matt was just a week old. (It's possible that is because 10 minutes ago he was throwing a fit - but thats besides the point!) The point is, 10 years has flown by quicker then I could have ever imagined. He's no longer my 2lb 10oz little preemie! He's developed into a handsome young man who's athletic abilities amaze me every single time he takes the field. Which is a good thing because, as I lay in the hospital bed for 5 weeks trying to stop his birth, his father Cody and I didn't have a name for him in the event that he did come early. So when Kathy (my mother in law at the time) suggested "Matthew Cody", my ex-husband quickly agreed because he said it was one of those names that would sound really awesome being announced as the star player over the intercom at a major league baseball game. So low and behold, he came Matthew Cody Howard and while we aren't exactly at the Major Leagues at this point, he's made me pretty proud down in Little league!

Every year I let them pick what kind of cake they want. Most years he wants chocolate Cake with chocolate icing (proving that yes, he does have my DNA!) one year he wanted Pumpkin Pie (again, my DNA) but this year, he wanted Dirt Cake! I was more then happy to provide this for him. How could you go wrong with oreo's and pudding!

I also let them choose their birthday dinner every year. This year, instead of asking for Chuck E Cheese or McDonald's - my 10 year old son chose...

Let the hormones begin.

The Hooters girls surrounded him and sang Happy Birthday to him.


The look on his face was priceless!!!


High five to being 10!


It was also Mothers Day that day, so mothers got dessert for free. You don't argue with free Strawberry Cheesecake!

His birthday was on a Friday so he had to wait all day at school to open his presents. I took cupcakes to school, which he got to eat during his pizza party that his class had for meeting their reading goals. It was the first party Matt was able to attend that year because he had finally met his goal!

Jacqui was so excited about Matt's pitching trainer!!!

They had to go out and put it together right away. (Notice little miss "hands on her hips" in the background. She is something else!!!)

Putting it together was a little tricky but she was bound and determined to figure it out. I'd like to tell you it was because she cares about her brother and wanted to help him put his birthday present together but I'm afraid this was purely for her benefit!

She pretty much put the entire thing together all by herself while Matt stood there and held it up. If she was allowed to swear, I think I would have heard a few colorful words come out of her mouth because of frustration. By the time she got it together, she'd had it with her brothers "help" and told him to just "get away!" They can only be around each other for so long before someone starts yelling.

But she did a great job and Matt was finally able to start practicing his pitches!

You better believe Jacqui was going to take advantage of it too!

Here he is opening his other gift from us!

He wanted a rip stick SOOOO bad! He told me it was the only thing he wanted!

He was so excited and naturally just jumped right on it as if he's always known how to skate on it like a pro!

Unfortunately, someone else was just as excited about this gift too! They fight over who is going to use it. It's like having two 10 year olds in the house! I'm taking bets on who is going to hurt themselves first!

Happy 10th Birthday Matt! Hope you had a great day!

Black Jack for Chores

Last summer before we left San Diego, Ski and I decided to take one last trip to Vegas before we left that side of the country. Because my dad had just retired, he made the trip out to the west coast to watch all the kids for us. I don't think we were gone 10 minutes before he had the cards out and was teaching them black jack. That's just what Grandpa's do, they gamble with their grandkids. Anyway, tonight when we were done with dinner and dishes and showers we decided to get some chips from our neighbors and play a little black jack with the kids. Only in this game, the chips represented chores. They started out with 20 chips each and in the end, whoever had the most chips would give that many chores to their sibling.

As you can see Jacqui wasn't doing quite so well and in turn, wasn't taking it very well either.

She isn't what you would call a good loser and of course I took it upon myself to make sure I captured her delightful reaction to getting beat by her brother. I took no pleasure in this at all. Okay so I laughed a little bit. Don't judge me internet ~ she needs to learn she isn't going to win every time.

As you see by the look on his face, Matt never gloated in Jacqui's face or made comments to his sister about the fact that he kept doubling his chips with each bet.

My poor girl. It doesn't matter what board game or card game we all play together, she always loses to her brother.

Cadence got bored so we decided that she could help her mom be the bar maid and bring people refreshments. Matt gave me a tip so I slipped it into Jacqui's pile. She lost it the next hand.

Good Job Caders!!!! You see she matches well...

In the end, Matt had 30 chips and Jacqui had 9. She will be doing 21 of his chores for him.

She feels real good about it too.

I think she would have rather lost all of her money then have to do a single chore for him let alone 21. Sorry baby - that is the chance you take when playing!!!

It's been a long difficult road...

Ever since the kids started Kindergarten, Jacqui and Matt have been polar opposites. Things just came naturally for Jacqui. She NEVER needs help with her homework. In fact, she gets a 6-7 page packet on Monday to do through out the week and turn in Friday. Usually miss "born organized" has her packet done by Monday night so that she won't have homework the rest of the week. (Unless you count the 20 minutes of reading she is supposed to do each day. Even that she will try to do all in one day to leave the rest of her week open - and if she doesn't read, she usually writes down that she did anyway. Yes I realize that it is a big fat lie but the girl is in fourth grade reading at 8th grade reading levels, so I give her a break)

Matt on the other hand hasn't had it quite as easy. He genuinely enjoys going to school. All his teachers tell me how excited he is each day to be there and loves to learn. Science is his all time FAVORITE subject and he soaks up all the information that he possibly can in one lesson. But reading, it's always been a huge struggle my friends. When we got to California, all the kids in his first grade class were reading sentences. Matt could barely spell his name. I could go on and on about all the crying and screaming and tantrums we had over doing his homework that year. Every report card always said "Behind in Reading" and every single break they had at school, he would have to go to intersession because his reading level was so low. But over the past 3 years he has been doing better and better. I have found ways to gently correct him when he makes a mistake and we also found out that he can't see close up so his glasses helped him see the words more clear. Still, reading has just been one of his problem areas.

Well last Friday, Matt came home with a note home from school. He told me "It's not good mom!" So as I gave him the "What did you do now" look and started reading the card, a smile spread across his face...

HE DID IT!!!!!!

I'm so proud of my baby!!!! He finally made it to the level that he is supposed to be at!

Matt went on to tell me "I was on the fence mom! It could have gone either way." But it didn't - he's come along way since the first grade when he got here and all he could recognize was the word Matt.

Great job buddy! If anyone knows how hard you've worked to get to this point, it is me!

My Preemie is 9 years old today!!!

9 years ago today I gave birth to a baby that was 3 months premature. He weighed 2lbs 10oz and was 13 1/2 inches long. When he turned 2 years old I was in Japan and wasn't able to spend his second birthday with him. That year, I wrote this for him so that I would always remember what we went through. On his birthday, I've decided to share it with all of you!


It’s funny how the human brain has a way of shielding you from the pain. How you somehow pull it together for yourself as well as your child. I remember it like it was yesterday. Just imagine for a second a roller coaster ride of pregnancy and complications. The contractions won’t stop and neither will the bleeding. You wake up thinking you are wetting the bed only to find out that it’s blood. Imagine entering the hospital at 23 weeks to have a check up and fully expecting to go home at the end of the appointment only you are told you would not be leaving until you had the baby. That could be anywhere from a few weeks to a few months.

Your told you won’t make it to term but they would try to get you to 32 weeks. You keep telling yourself over and over that if you just make it to “X” number of weeks he’ll be fine. Imagine being hooked to IV’s and monitors for 5 weeks. Finding out that bed rest in the hospital means bedpans too. Bleeding that wont stop and it seems like no one is in a hurry. Terrified that you are going to bleed (painlessly) to death at night in the hospital bed as you bargain with God for the life of your child. Imagine Magnesium Sulfate. (Only appreciated by those that have had to endure this horrible treatment) Your unable to eat cause your “Mag” doses are too high. It is starting to affect your vision, you have little to no reflexes and you can barely move your arms or legs. This is all happening while your receiving a blood transfusion and you’re having hard contractions.

Imagine the fear that encompasses you, as you lay awake at 2am unable to sleep because you know the contractions you are having aren’t Braxton-hicks. Spending weeks at a time in the hospital as your husband and other child fend for themselves at home. Imagine getting steroid shots to develop your babies’ lungs early. Then having a doctor tell you that if your baby is born right now you have to make the decision to have him resuscitated if that time should come.

Imagine panicking when the nurse can’t find the heartbeat and the doctor looks in your eyes and tells you “This is it! There’s no turning back now!” The combined terror and elation as you realize he’ll be here TODAY! Calling your husband to tell him “It’s time!” even though your only 28 weeks. Imagine how oddly calm you are as the doctor breaks your water and you realize they don’t have time for any type of drugs cause he’s coming way to fast. So many people running in and out while you give birth naturally in the middle of it all.

Your first response is pleasure – your son is here! Next “Is he breathing??” Imagine feeling shock and relief that your baby could cry even though it’s so weak you can’t hear it from 3 feet away. Imagine the first time you see him he is in an incubator. You are stretching to see him from the table you just gave birth on but it’s just too far away to get a good look.

Imagine walking into the NICU for the first time and all the babies are in incubators except yours. He’s on a warming table cause he’s so sick and needs so much care. His head and shoulders are purple, his eyes are fused closed, he is a funny looking little creature but you can’t stop yourself from falling madly and deeply in love. Imagine looking at your nearly lifeless child fighting to live. There are needles in his head and a machine helping him breathe as you watch your baby, on a respirator, try to cry. Imagine that seeing everything though tear-blurred eyes can start to seem normal. Saying to the nurse “Can I touch him?” What a horrible thing for a mother to have to ask. Watching your son in an incubator under bili-lights, with a warmer, a feeding tube and a lot of wires, not really knowing what they were. You hold his tiny little hand in yours. He doesn’t even have enough strength to squeeze your finger.

Imagine receiving news that your baby’s heart stops often because his lungs are too tiny and he forgets to breath. Trying so hard to explain to the Neonatologist that what does not appear catastrophic to him is devastating to you. Almost a full week goes by before you are allowed to finally hold your baby. Your afraid of the ever-present alarms and wires, and afraid that you would be the one to do something to hurt him, after all, you couldn’t keep him safe inside you. Thinking “He won’t remember this right?” Wishing you could be sure, knowing you’d never forget it … wishing you could. Imagine holding him through “Kangaroo Care” Finally feeling as if your bonding with him while you hold him skin to skin against your chest, keeping him warm as you comfort him with your heartbeat. Imagine seeing his full face for the first time as tape used to hold the tubes and respirator in place are removed.

Imagine getting a call at 4am and it’s the Neonatologist, telling you in his soft reassuring voice that your son had to go back on the high frequency oscillating ventilator because he was not breathing well enough on his own. (100% oxygen is a scary thing) Your heart starts to break every time the phone rings because you are afraid it is the hospital calling to tell you something else is wrong. Imagine you stop flinching and just say, “Okay explain the procedure!” After all you are a NICU parent and it takes a lot more then that to shake you. That’s when it really hits you how together you really are in all of this.

Imagine getting a phone call at work from your primary nurse saying your son extibated himself today. After spending hours at the hospital your husband finally talks you into going home to get some sleep. You call when you get home so they can comfort you again by telling you he’s still okay and that they will call you if things get worse. Imagine feeding your son for the first time through a feeding tube that goes through his nose and to his stomach because he hasn’t learned to suck and he can’t handle formula yet. Imagine hearing an all too familiar monitor going off and realizing it is coming from your child because his heart stopped again.

Normal is completely redefined when a good day is one in which you look at his progress sheet and you are happy seeing that his heart only stopped twice instead of five times. You beg your husband to get an apnea monitor to keep until he’s ten. Picture the wide eyed look on your face as your trying to be so careful with this fragile little miracle and his nurse comes up and grabs him like he’s a child’s toy because she is so used to preemies.

Imagine constantly turning his head so that one side of his face isn’t flatter then the other. The doctors and nurses start to pay little attention to your baby because he’s so “healthy” and you are trying to derive some comfort from that. He’s been in the hospital so long now that they start to call him the “Bull Ensign”

Imagine being told that your baby is going home and you were going to have to learn CPR – praying to God you could keep your head long enough if the time to use CPR ever occurred. Imagine finally dressing your son for the first time in “Civvies” even though you lose him in them because they are so big. Your smile doesn’t fade as you pack his bag and put him in the car seat.

Imagine the first night he is home he sleeps on your chest and you don’t sleep a wink for fear that he may stop breathing and he isn’t hooked to a monitor. Imagine he comes home only eating 30cc’s of formula – at least it isn’t through a feeding tube. Imagine a 5-month-old premature baby looking like a healthy newborn. Imagine never knowing how to answer when strangers ask you “How old is he?” The simplest of questions most parents are asked and you hesitate. You look forward to the day when you can introduce your son with out having to say “But he was premature so…”

Imagine the day you realize all the fear and anxiety you went through in the NICU was worth it as you see your son roll over all by himself for the first time and you can’t stop crying. Imagine development that is slow and each milestone means just as much as the one before. You never take his accomplishments for granted. Imagine seeing your two-year-old son running to you (with chocolate all over his face) just so he can give you a kiss. Imagine the first time you hear him call you Mommy.

Imagine…having a preemie.

I never realized that my heart was so willing to share so much love with a stranger so small and needy. He didn’t arrive with instructions, it was strictly learn as you go but my child will always be the precious miracle I gave birth to that day. He was worth every minute of pain I endured.




Back to Today!!!

This year, I made him cupcakes for his class just like I do every year. His favorite is Chocolate cupcakes with either chocolate or white icing - it all depends on the mood.
Genie, Jolene, and Megan were here for a visit and wanted to come with me to the school when I took them to him. Unfortunately Genie learned a valuable lesson about leaving cupcakes unattended when a toddler is running around!


Here we are RE-icing the cupcakes...


When we got to the school Matt's teacher said he wasn't feeling good and the nurse was sending him home! He had a headache and a fever.


Later that evening his temperature was gone and he was feeling fine so we took him to dinner. My Aunt Colleen and Uncle Tom were in town so we went with them to Uno's pizza in Pacific Beach.


Unfortunately Matt's temperature came back and he went straight upstairs to bed when he got home without opening any gifts. I KNEW he must be sick if he didn't want to go downstairs to get gifts. So I brought them all up to him.



Caders had no sympathy for her big brother. She took that opportunity to swing like a monkey and kick him in the back.


My poor baby...